The Elder Scrolls: The Escape Scrolls

We all know the game series The Elder Scrolls, and those who don't, have probably been living in a hole for a couple of years (More than 10.) The popularity of this series severely rose with the release of Morrowind, the third installment in the series, and even further with the fourth: Oblivion.

The Elder Scrolls consists of the most awesome RPG elements known to man. Common for all the games is that you start as a prisoner in a holding cell, without a clue as to what you have done or why you are there. Once you escape, which you definitely will, you can roam around in a huge world and do as you very well please.

Now why would I wanna do that?
Because it is fun?
Definitely!
Because I am bored?
Supposedly.
Am I a fan?
Yes, indeed!

But why do millions of people succumb to the need of playing such a game, and why is it so popular?
The answer to that would be: Because it is an open world, where you can do as you please.
But can't we also do that in, say, real life? YES, WE CAN!
The difference is that in the world of Elder Scrolls, there are no REAL consequences. If you die, you just load. Something is too hard? Alter the difficulty! Too mundane? Use magic! In a bad mood? Assassinate some innocent civilians!

This game is ultimate form of video game escapism. You can even create your own content with a fancy toolset they give you for free. People are free to create their own textures and meshes such as these:

Interestingly enough, it was a chick who made this. I bet you thought it was a guy!

Anyway, so if someone wants to ignore the real world, and just bask in glory of being sole person the entire world revolves around for a couple of hours a day, The Elder Scrolls are just made for you. Even on their website they advertise, saying: "Be another person, in another world." It's the perfect opportunity to earn some dead hours! And who would you rather be?

Sheldon the Garbage Man, having to deal with bills and relationships - or Timmy the Great (I came up with that name,) Who own his own bests the Daedric lord, Mehrunes Dagon, with 100% chance of success, but still made so that it seems like an achievement?

The latter? I thought so!
So do I have a problem with escapism? No! I think it is great! I think dead hours are the best kind of pass-time in the world! Given my "Aesthetic" way of life, I think that this is awesome and that there are few things better to do.

Applaud for Bethesda studios! Really!

People dislike truth

Our entire law system is build on honesty. You have to do good things and in court you always have to be honest. Truth and justice and all that crap. Being honest is even considered a virtue. The the funny thing just is that people HATE hearing the truth about themselves. The primary reason for this is that we don't actually like that part of us. Maybe we don't want other people to know it, or ourselves to know it, because we would seem either evil or weak in the eyes of others.

I borrowed a game from a friend of mine, or rather, he put it in my hands and said: PLAY!

This game is called Persona 4, which is awesome, by the way. The game is about a bunch of teenagers who becomes capable of entering TV's and end up in a different world, where so called "shadows" are on the ready to attack them. Fortunately, our heroes are capable of summoning an avatar of their so called "dark side" (Which is the truth about themselves) called a "Persona." 

But there is a catch. before they are able to use their personas, they need to accept their "shadow selves." That is all there is required. But this is easier said than done, 'cause their shadow parts are mean and cruel. They still speak the truth though. They have the virtue of honesty. They are open about the weakness of their counter-part and what annoys them. From a freudian point of view, one might call them the subconsciousness. 

The point is that they can't accept their shadow selves to begin with and that is exactly what happens in real life. There is a part that we don't wish to acknowledge, deep inside us. It might be an opinion, an interest or some physical. Personally, this isn't such a big problem for me, I'd gladly admit that I am weak, or lazy or unattractive, if people point it out with some reasonable arguments. It's not a problem for me, since I am completely satisfied with who I am and accept that I am not perfect. This is partly because that whilst I realize that I am very "cruel" when it comes to some points, I simply don't care. It have been a problem for me, though. When I found out that I was going to be bald in a couple of years from now, I felt really bad about it, and I hated when people commented on my thin hair. That part of me is however gone. Which is why it pisses me off that I am still not able to summon an avatar capable of firing off lightning bolts!

So Persona got me thinking and I could actually recognize this kind of dilemma. After my en devours in bizzaro-TV-land, I was in a real-life sports competition, where we were in teams of 4-6. My group came in the 5th place, which means that we lost and so did the group of a guy I knew who were also participating. Th judges had a reward for everyone though, which consisted of a small candy-bars. Of course the winners received more. Both I and the guy I know who was also there, insisted on not receiving anything because of the fact that we lost. Still, later I see him gnawing on one anyway. At that point I ask him, why he might have changed his mind? He said, that since one of the winners offered him one, he couldn't say no. So he couldn't say no because a different person than the judge offered him one. I believe that he shrugged it off as being rude to say no, which, according to my observations, it wouldn't be, especially not if he told him about his principle of "loser gets no reward". Therefore I asked him: "So you said yes because you really wanted the chocolate." This made him very angry and needless to say, he gave me a childish reply, that made no sense whatsoever.

I believe that he became angry, because he was faced with the truth. He gave in. Craved. Having the tasty chocolate dangled in front of him twice was more than enough, and thus he decided to just dumb his principle and eat it. That is most definitely a sign of weakness, which I believe is why he didn't wanna face it. His "darker self" was smearing the fact in his face and he chose to neglect it. But I believe that we can learn a lesson from Persona 4. If we can't accept ourselves, we will grow weak and our we will in fact be defeated time and time again by ourselves (Which kinda seems humiliating.) But if we can accept ourselves, we will grow stronger (evidently without a cool avatar, though.)

It all boils down to whether we want to be weak, or acknowledge that we have a "darker side" and know that we are so much more than that. If we want to evolve and grow to acceptable levels, we need to be able to accept ourselves. Our "Full" selves.

You can exchange it!!

Ever received a present? Of course you have! We all do from time to time, as well as  give them out. I believe that no one can complain when it comes to being given a gift - or wait! I can! But I won't.... Wait... That's a lie, actually, I will.

I'll admit that getting Assassin's Creed II: Brotherhood for Christmas was nice. Or Storm of Zehir on my birthday for that matter! But aside from some very specific games and some creative surprises from my girlfriend, gifts don't really give me that much joy. Despite the fact that I dislike birthdays and Christmas a great deal, I also hand them out on said occasions.

I guess we get used to handing out and receiving presents and that is fine. The trouble is when people like me receive them, we don't really tend to get overly enthused. Instead we give a quick "Thank you" and a doubtful smile. Personally, I'd think that that would be enough of a display of gratitude, but sadly: NO!

Every-single-fucking-time I have to go through the process of my mother, aunt, or some crazy dude dressed as Santa saying: If you don't like it, you can exchange it!

Okay:

1. I fucking know

2. You already know I won't tell you that I will, 'cause it's rude

3. Why would I fucking bother

4. If you'd think it was okay to exchange it, why'd you fricken bother getting it? Just give me money instead!

Just because I like the gift, it doesn't mean that I'll jump and run around the house 3 times in excitement. It's just a T-shirt, come on!! And it's not like I am going to go through that theatrical sequence of pretending to really care for it, by saying: Uuuuuh, that's nice! Just what I wanted!

Of course I'd be good at it, better than most, but no!

When I give gifts, all future remarks and comments are actually inexistent. Once it's handed over, the deed is done and we never need to speak of it again. Case Closed.

Being smart

Being smart is cool. There's nothing better than overhearing two people at school or work, talking about the Roman kingdom (Regnum Romanum) and then being able to say "Did you know that Romulus was the first king of Rome? He build Rome in 753 BC :D LOL"

Then the people you just lectured stands in awe and says "Wow, you are both smart and good looking" (that's what happens in my dream world.)

... Okay, that reaction may be a lie, but knowing stuff is cool, and the best thing is when you are awesome at math, biology and physics. The only issue is that it most of the time can be kind of dull to get there.

Once you are there, though, it's all kittens and pink clouds.
But, I guess it's like juggling. We don't really want a stand around and practice until we're finally able to juggle around the 2 balls, 3 juggling clubs and the nine eggs that we want. Once we do know how, there's nothing better than showing off! Spinning the emotions of awe and jealousy around the room, with your magnificent skills.

You may be tempted to "let it go for now" (And never get back to it) and just go play Crysis 2, which is awesome when you are trying to master it, and boring afterwards instead. GO PROPHET!

I believe that the best way of going about this, is to pick a point of focus and then just stick with it until you can do it. I do that with German (and Japanese, but shush).

True optimism doesn't exist

Let me start out by saying: I am a full-blood pessimist. I do not have a problem with optimism, even though I don't quite agree with the ideology.

Recently a thought entered my über-intelligent brain and now I am going to share it. Hold on, now:

True optimism is inexistent!! :O

That's right!

Have a look at this sketch I made in paint!
Heres the legend:

• Black Pentagon = The act of ignoring problems
• Red Square = Pessimism
• Blue Square = Optimism

The arrows symbolize whether it's a negative thing (down) or a positive thing (up)

I believe that if you ask the ignorant commoners to answer whether these things are negative or positive, these will be the results.

Pessimism is negative. Fine.

Optimism is positive. Okay.

Ignoring problems. Sound kinda negative doesn't it?

I Believe that ignoring problems is part of optimism. The more hardcore the optimism, the worse the case. Focus on the positive, brush off the bad and forget about it. Ergo = IGNORE THE PROBLEM

Thus, the pentagon forces both squares to be... Da da da daaaam...:

NEGATIVE

We can thus conclude: True, or or pure if you'd like, optimism does not exist!!

Thank you, for your time.

A rising star that should be put out

So I do believe that everybody is familiar with Rebecca Black by now and have either decided that they love Friday or hate Friday. Rebecca Black strikes me as an untalented, little girl (I believe she is 13 ATM). Still, you don't know what's behind her motivation to do this, so I feel a little bad for all the flaming.

Still, the song Friday features a set of non-rhyming (at all) lyrics, the dilemma of whether Rebecca should take the front seat or back seat, even though there's no front seat available, in a car driven by her same-aged friends. Yes, under-age driving. It also features educational uses. We learn that Thursday comes right before Friday- Thank you, Rebecca. Also there's a random black guy, rapping (still not rhyming) in the end of her video. And of course we get to dwell in the seat-dilemma once again, even though she is already IN the back seat. Yae^^

So there's criminal acts of the under-age, education and disturbing voice enhancement.

I don't find Rebecca Black disturbing at all. Not since I've laid my eyes (and ears) upon the music of Jenna Rose. SHE is disturbing!

Who is Jenna Rose you ask?
From what I can gather from her song, I'd say she's a hypocrite, spoiled brat and incapable of singing, since it is extremely auto-tuned. Evidently, her first single "My Jeans" is about some jeans that she once try on at the mall, but didn't buy and now she have seen some famous people (Hannah Montana, Ashley Tisdale and someone named Kiki Palmer :/) wearing them in magazines. Though she doesn't own them, she still refers to the jeans as hers.

Why is that disturbing and not just ridiculous? Well, the disturbing part is that anyone can just make this stuff these days. Talent isn't needed- money is!

But maybe you're right- It ain't disturbing at all. But I'm telling you: THERE IS MORE!! MORE!!!

She has released a second single called OMG- Which is exactly what the reaction I had to the video and the lyrics! It is all about her showing herself in "revealing, sexy outfits" and singing, and I quote "Just take a picture, baby" - "You really wish you could" - "It will last longer for you"   - WHAT WILL JENNA?! :O

At this point, I might just mention that she's 12 years old. It's like she's encouraging child pornography. It is like, and I quote at this point "Reverse pedophilia" -Cupofteam

Rebecca Black I disliked. Jenna Rose I despise! Greatly!! :O
Catchy as her songs are (They even rhyme... Rebecca!), they feature stupid and disturbing lyrics and voice enhancement. Final judgement!!

I really recommend watching CupofTeam's video reviews of these 3 songs on youtube. CupofTeam are really hilarious! Just follow the links below.

Reviews:
Rebecca Black - Friday
Jenna Rose - My Jeans
Jenna Rose - O.M.G.

How to avoid people

How do you avoid people, as a good dane. It's simple!
There are various ways to avoid people, but one that seems to be favored the most is: "The Cellphone Dodge" - All you need is a cell phone, to perform this stylish, useful and easy-to-do maneuverer.

As you spot people you know, at the end of the hall, or on the other side of the street or so on, you often have to cope with the awful fact they will be passing your way. So as a good northern European or American, you naturally have to avoid the awkward silence, proceeded by the obligatory "Hey, long time no see!"
And even though we'd all like to reply "Not long enough," are nice personalities 'cause us to merely agree with a slight nod and a "Heh. Yeah. What is up?"

The Cellphone Dodge is our rescue and has of late begun to evolve into a natural instinct. We pick up our cellphone and stay focused on the screen. Maybe we even pretend to text someone, or maybe we just can't seem to find the digital clock all the way in the upper right corner. Sometimes it's just so hard to spot! 2 minutes at least!!

If one takes a stroll in Denmark, one will often find that if single persons, not that they necessarily know each other, pass each other on the street, one will often see at least one of them pick up their trusty cellphone from their pocket and stare so hard into the screen that their eyes might spontaneously combust.

I for one, do it every day.

Bright Falls

Bright Falls

Fear? How do you deal with fear? Is there a way to fight something you can’t touch, though it can touch you? Up until recently I genuinely thought so. I lectured people on the brain and how to cope with anxiety, phobias and fear in general. I’ve even written several books on the matter. Last year I even won a prize on my book “Bright Darkness – how to cope with your fear of the dark.” I guess that is what they call irony, because right now it seems like the only thing I can’t do. My name is Emmet Bright and I’m a psychologist and an author. And right now everything I’ve ever said and done, means nothing.

It all started three days ago. I was signing copies of my book in an “All Books” in Brooklyn, New York. I had done this several times before, but this particular time would lead to a nightmare. After 6 hours of signing books and meeting fans, I felt very tired. As I prepared to make my leave, I had to engage in one last conversation with yet another trusty reader. Only this man wasn’t a fan. It was him. This last person. I merely assumed he wanted his book signed, but it seemed that he hadn’t brought one. “So, it’s nice to me...” is all that I got to say, before he began walking towards me, grabbed my hand and said “So you think you know fear? You think you know pain? I will show you darkness. Anubis will show you darkness.” A searing pain started burning in my hand, along with the feeling of blood, running down to the end of my fingers only to drip down on the floor. The hired doormen quickly reacted to his so called threat, grabbed him and threw him out. As he was being dragged out, I noticed the bloodied pendant in his palm, realizing that he must’ve cut me with the edge. I took a facial tissue from my pocket, to press down on the wound in my hand with, but the pain had gone away. There was no cut, no bleeding. Could it be that he had caught himself? If so, then why would it have burned like it did? At that time, I mistook him for a crazy should-be patient at the local asylum. Little did I know that he had changed my life forever. I know now that what he told me is correct. I know nothing of fear. Or rather, I knew nothing of fear. To think that I merely went to my hotel room and had a good nice sleep that night, after gazing at the moon, whilst drinking my wine. The moon was full that night. I remember clearly, because I was so sure that it had only been a half-moon the night before. As the moon was a factor of fear for many, I used it as a reminder of my success. That aside, I had a conference the next day, and all the confidence in the world.

The conference in itself, started out great. It was at a woody mountainside resort in Washington. I met a lot of different brain doctors, all eager to speak their mind. It all began right before my speech. “Are you ready?” He asked. His name was Arthur D. Brown, a genius in psychology, and the head-speaker. “I was born ready!” Was my reply. The only reply I ever had to that question. He stood with his back turned, watching the stage as the previous speaker was about to make an exit. “Are you sure? You know how horrible it feels when a lot of people are staring at you, expecting the world from you. Wouldn’t you just wish you were dead sometimes, when you’re in the spotlight?” He was referring to some problems I had when I was a young man. I was once supposed to recite a poem at poetry night in college. It had massive stage fright back then. Ironic huh? Only thing is, I didn’t meet Dr. Brown until years later in my career, so he couldn’t possibly know that. “What are you talking about...” I replied. He cut me off, turned around, grabbed my sleeves and screamed with a resonant voice “We wouldn’t want you dying, would we?! That would be horrible wouldn’t it?! Are you afraid of DEATH, BRIGHT?!” His face were dark, his teeth yellow and sharp like fang and his eyes were glowing red. Pure instinct caused me to close my eyes and count to 10. When I opened them, I was standing on stage, with my notes on the podium in front of me. I began my speech. What else should I have done? Anything else, it would seem. It was a mistake. “Fear is a natural reflex and one of our brains many functions...” I looked at my audience. I think this was the exact time that I officially became a hypocrite. Instead of rows of interested head, staring at me, I saw white, ghastly faces staring up on me. They looked unnatural. I looked to my right. A jackal was staring at me. Just staring at me. I ran off as quickly as I could. Jumped off the stage and headed straight for the door. Once outside, I ran to my car, followed by screaming. Evil yells of slander reached my ears and came closer and closer. They said “Running away, Bright?! But the night is young and the darkness so soothing! You love staring at the moon don’t you? Well, why not just stay here and stare forever after? After we sever your head, we’ll be sure to impale it and stick in to the ground up in the hills. Give you a nice perspective!” As I looked back, at the end of the parking lot, the owner of the voices amassed. They looked wrong. As if consumed by darkness. It was sort of covering them. They ran towards me. “Fear is only an imagination! Why don’t you come join us over here!” They had brought axes and knives. I reached for my car keys, but I couldn’t zip down my jacket’s zipper. The voices came closer. “We’ll kill you, Bright. We’ll kill you” We’ll rip off your legs and chop you into bits!” They came closer! The streetlamps they passed each exploded with a big crash-like sound. Like when you break a window with rock. They came even closer. “Die, Bright!” and finally, I got the zipper down, grabbed they keys and unlocked the car, just in time to witness an axe flying right past my face and chopping down my side mirror. I jumped in and drove off, running over my pursuers.

This was two days ago, or so says my watch. I’ve been running ever since. It’s all darkness. The full moon is still there. It doesn’t change. It says full. My car ran out of gas, so I pushed it to the nearest gas station in a small abandoned town. The sign said “Bright Falls”. There were no gas here, but I had to hide from my pursuers. They all want to kill me and they’re everywhere I go. I’ve been hiding at the gas station for three hours now. I’ve tried calling for help, but all the lines are dead. I can hear them gathering outside. Talking. I can’t leave for now. Are there any survivors out there? Am I the only one left? Am I... all alone?

闇

“What’s with him?” someone asked. That someone was a fellow named Jim Collins. “Who?” his colleague Pat Green asked him. “The new guy in that cell there. He’s hiding under his bed. What’s the matter with him?” Pat sighed. Jim apparently worked all day and night in the asylum, if he hadn’t heard about it. “That fella’ right there is Emmet Bright. The AUTHOR, Jim! Apparently he suddenly just started cutting himself in a bookstore. He stabbed the guys trying to take away whatever he used, ran off. When the police finally found him in Washington, he ran them over when they tried to apprehend him. He was just transferred in.”

Pat was amazed that Jim didn’t already know. “Hmm...” Jim said “He looks so afraid.”

God is a man

So a lot of people apparently tend to believe that the Christian god might be a woman and whilst I applaud this happy-go-lucky, merry attitude of equality and reason that some of this opinion might have, I must also say that I believe that most people who think this are a bunch of uptight feminists who doesn't know squad about The Holy Bible.

Of course I wouldn't be so straightforward with out some good arguments, so here we go:

1. It comes from a time of woman opression - why in the world would god be a woman and then have her sex be the opressed?
2. The Bible clearly states: "God created man in his image," Man in this case being Adam - taking in a litterate sense, that would make god a man
3. And this might be the most convincing one: Genisis - Passage 3-5  - If you would be so kind as to look up verse 8, you will se what I mean.

For your convinience: God is a man

Not that I have an issue with god being a woman, it is merely that it is so easy to see that he clearly wasn't meant to be. Anyone who believes he is, is a moron.

Why does it never rain on me?

What is bad weather? Is there a definite answer, or is it merely something we, ourselves, decide subjectively? Has it just been accepted in general that bad weather = rain, storm, snow?

It has occured to me, as of late, that whenever it rain, a lot of people in my life, happen to think that it is, and I qoute, "Piss-weather" - they hate it automatically. Apparently they don't like getting wet, which I find amusing considering how many of them like going to the beach for a swim during summer. Well here's some news:

I LIKE RAIN

Rain is nice! It seems to me that people have just gotten used to mentioning that it sucks and that might be why they hate it, but dammit, rain is the best weather there is. Have you ever taking a walk in light rain, with your trusty MP3-Playing cell and a pair of headphones? It is HEAVEN. Or crossing through some heavy rain on your glorious mission to get home from you're annoying friend, who just keeps calling you to ask and see if you'd like to hang out, and even though you really don't want to, you do it anyway, with the teeny tiny spark of a hope that he might wanna stop calling afterwards due to a lasting satisfaction, but in reality knowing that that'll never happen? It's nice when you get home, take off your wet clothes and replace them with some dry, relaxing clothes.

Why hate on rain? It's great for every mood! Happy, sad, angry, you name it!

Now heres a point, which I think interesting: People don't like rain- But when it's Christmas, they get all enthusiastic and, well, actually pretty annoying when the snow slowly makes it's way down from the sky, laying a white, soft carpet on our land.

Here's why snows sucks:

• Due to it's white color, it absorbs less warmth from the sun, causing the temperaute to fall, which I think we can all agree: sucks!
• People can pick it up, shape it like a neat little ball, and throw it in your face - with a holiday cheer of course. Not only that, but kids might just throw it at cars, causing incidents involving horrible death, pain and misfortune - with a holiday cheer of course. They also might just throw it at house windows, causing them to break and the carpet or hardwood floor inside to get some nasty scratches and stain - WITH A HOLIDAY CHEER OF COURSE!
• After some time, the snow will freeze over the neat little roads of wonderful asphalt, causing car crashes - seasons greetings!
• You can get snowed in - I really don't think you can get rained in

I could hand out more reasons, most of them involving suffering, but I think I made my point. For some odd reason, people dislike rain more than they dislike snow, or at least in my experience. It's fricken stupid!
Now sunshine, is fine too, no prob, still... A little rain during the hot summertime can also cool you down. Cloudy, mellow weather on the other hand... well, who can be cheerful on a dry, grey day like that?

Rain is awesome, bottom line. Love it, don't be a hater.

For some final content: A poem entitled "Rain"

There's something dashing against my cheek
It's some neat little drops pick-me-ups
It always wanna make me go outside and have a peek,
When it's frozen it sucks!

What might this thing be, that always make me cheer
now listen well, I really want you to hear
You might just think me weird, crazy or insane,
but this thing I love is rain!

No matter what mood, I'll always take a walk,
A thrive in the rain, like in the air: a hawk,
It's good if I'm glad, it's good if I am sad,
If you hate on it, then I will get mad,
In the rain, you find no pain,
It's incredible how much, cheer you'll gain,
So if you ever see it raining, outside your safe house
come and take a walk with me... OR DIE BY THE HANDS OF LUCIFER, THE IMMORTAL EATER OF SOULS!!!!

Have a nice day.